It's National Cereal Day on March 7th. While the Wheaties, Cheerios and Life cereals rule and reign the grocery store aisles, let's take a moment to remember the forgotten and weird cereals that briefly graced the breakfast table.
Nintendo Cereal System
Not just a box of cereal: It’s the Nintendo Cereal SYSTEM! This 1988 cereal featured Super Mario Brothers and the Legend of Zelda, the two cornerstone games of the Nintendo universe.
This cereal’s gimmick was TWO bags of cereal in ONE box! That’s right, kids could choose which game theme they wanted that morning, thanks to the separate bags of fruity chow. Kids minds doubtlessly melted.
Now, even an empty box will sell for hundreds of dollars on eBay.
Back in the 1950’s, you could just put the word “SUGAR” in the name of your breakfast cereal. Before it was re-named “Honey Smacks”, and finally just “Smacks”, it was sugar front and center, baby!
What else did they think would sell products? How about a terrifying clown that looks like an American Horror Story extra? If that doesn’t get them to buy, offer toy submarine, “powered” by harmless atomic energy!
It’s kind of crazy that we think of donuts as a breakfast food, as they are literally just pieces of cake. Put a hole in that cake, and boom! Breakfast approved.
There’s been a long tradition of basically just frosting Cheerios and calling them a doughnut cereal, as you can see with these cereals from the 1970’s, 80’s and 2000’s.
Oh wow, man. Let’s just stay mellow and not, like trip on what The Man wants us to buy for breakfast.
Incredibly successful psychedelic artist Peter Max was so popular in the 1970’s that he could slap his art on a Swedish health cereal, and people would buy it.
Imagine a big bowl of the grape flavoring that you’d use in say, children’s cough syrup, but it’s milk. You have now imagined 1972’s Sir Grapefellow.
“These Millenios with their avocado toast and Snapchat, ruining everything!”
This frosted Cheerio variant was only available during 1999, and helped soothe a nations fears about Y2K shutting everything down.
It’s 1991, and you cannot escape Urkel. The high-voiced, snorting Family Matters nerd was a full-blown cultural sensation.
It was only a matter of time until he would attain breakfast cereal status, like Michael Jordan on Wheaties. This banana and strawberry flavored cereal also falls under the genre of “Like Cheerios, but bad for you”.
Is it just us, or does the E.T. Cereal look like a pile of E.T.’s fingers?
Raisin Bran - California Raisins edition
Oh boy. Just look at this thing.
A 12-inch tall, plastic California Raisin filled with Raisin Bran.
It’s hard to explain to anyone who isn’t familiar with The California Raisins exactly why these wrinkly, sunglasses-wearing lumps were so popular in the late 1980’s. (“You see, they sold the idea of eating raisins!”)
Imagining this smug character smirking at you on the breakfast table while you ate spoonfuls of his brethren.
Maple Bacon Donuts Honey Bunches of Oats
Proving that bizarre, gimmicky cereals are still being produced today, the Post corporation unleashed their Maple Bacon Donuts variety of Honey Bunches of Oats in 2017.
Not content to let the weird flavors rest, this year saw the release of a “Chicken & Waffles” edition. Approach at your own peril.
For more novelty food hijinks, check out our video "Can You Handle the 5-Pound Burger Challange?"